I’m so tired…

Why am I tired ? A couple of reasons but the main one is I have spent too much time on YouTube watching atheist videos. Hey in the beginning I was so excited about watching all these youtube videos of atheists confronting Christians … Hitchens was my favorite but he has now shed this mortal coil and no more new ones. The majority of his videos come from his God Is Not Great tour of the south where by necessity he repeats some of the classic lines

For 98,000 years God sits back with folded arms…..

At least with North Korea you can fucking die….

One of the things I live for is, if not passing on my genes, then taking part in activities that might allow those genes to be passed on…

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice …

If none of these quotes are familiar you haven’t watched enough Hitchens….  there will never be another like him.

Every once in awhile we get a lone gem like when he told Ben Stein “He needs to live two more lifetimes to live down his work with Richard Nixon… but I can’t picture two more lifetimes let alone one more with him for anyone else” Laughed my butt off on that one.

So I watch Dawkins, Dennett, Harris ….  I’ve worked my way through the four horsemen ….  Dillahunty, Krauss, Carrier, Barker, Aron Ra  … heck I have even gone through all the Gervais and degrasse Tyson soft appeals to atheism ..  all 1000 + epsisodes of the Atheist Experience…  I’ve tried some of what they would call the alt right atheist (Thunderf00t, Amazing Atheist, Sargon)  not sure about those..  although I have to admit that the Drunken Peasants are a guilty pleasure (I actually live about 5 minutes from Brett Keane)…

Now I am down to videos of atheists being invited to speak to churches or Christian classrooms  …  yeah I don’t have to hear about the ontological argument or the kalam cosmological but this is what I am down to…

Where do you get your morals … Doesn’t it take as much faith to be an atheist… But what if you’re wrong (Pascal’s wager)….. How can you not believe in anything …. why do you hate God?…  if man evolved from monkeys why are there still monkeys…

I am seriously depressed I think I have finished the internet ……. what should I do next?  Really what would you suggest?





Introducing Myself

So here I go.  One thing to understand is this is a step in a journey that if you would have asked me to take 10 years ago I would have declined. I definitely would have not made this next statement.

I am an atheist.

That took awhile to admit to myself.  It’s taking an even longer time to admit it to others… and I know I am not alone. I once thought atheists were under the direction of Satan. The term was used in sermons to demonstrate failure of a child of God, someone to be feared because that evil could somehow infect you. No one would ever want to be an atheist unless of course they were in love with evil and wickedness.

But here I am now. I am an atheist. I am a man in his mid-forties with a wife I love and have been married and faithful to for 20 years. I have two beautiful and smart children who show a caring and empathetic nature to others. I have held a succesful job in the IT industry for over 25 years at the same company. I pay my taxes and bills on time. I try my best to help my fellow neighbor or friend. I have never committed any serious crimes or been arrested.  …  I am a terrible speller though I will warn you of that.

Some people would say I am blessed.  I might have said the same thing sometime ago. But now I am not sure what that means. It seems to indicate that for whatever reason God decided to give me a life worth living. Something millions of people today or in the past(many who were or are faithful Christians) did not even have a chance at. This would have been explained away with the God works in mysterious ways and to “just be thankful for what he has provided you”. Others would say that now that I am an atheist it is Satan’s way of fooling me that I don’t need God.  But these good things happened long before I turned away, back when I was an active Christian, even later when I didn’t attend church as much but the guilt was on my mind all the time.

The truth to me now is this. It’s a combination of things luck, hard work, genetics, help from others here on earth, location …. etc.  I could go on there is not one thing I could say that was the cause of what my life is now. For sure it is not a god or any god …  somehow that would diminish the truth and in my eye’s it would be dishonest to myself and others. This is the promise I make to you if you take the time to read my story …. I won’t lie to you.

Uzzah – not my real name.

Please introduce yourself to me in the comments.